When relationships break down, emotions are high and it is difficult to sort through what to do. Perhaps these thoughts have never before crossed your mind and the words separation and divorce are scary and you don’t know what steps to take.
HERE IS A BRIEF LIST OF THE STEPS THAT WE RECOMMEND PEOPLE TAKE – NOT NECESSARILY IN THIS ORDER:
- SEE A COUNSELLOR. Quite often the first question clients ask when they come to us about the breakdown of a relationship is “I have just been separated, when can I get a divorce”? If there is any chance of reconciling, then that should be your focus. A marriage counsellor, or even seeing a counsellor on your own, could offer you guidance to help get your relationship back on track. Even if there is no chance of reconciling, seeking the help of a professional counsellor will guide you through a very difficult time.
- SEE A LAWYER. Just because you see a lawyer, it doesn’t mean you’ll be rushing off to Court or having a long, costly dispute about kids and assets. Any good lawyer will push hard for you to negotiate with your ex BEFORE going to Court. We pride ourselves on negotiation because an out-of-court settlement is the best way for everyone to move forward. If you can quickly, respectfully and fairly reach a settlement, this is the first step to salvaging something from your relationship with your ex. Even if you can’t settle, getting good advice early is well worth it, and could save you time and money.
- GET A NEW WILL. This area of law, called “Estate Planning”, needs to be looked at any time there is a major change in your life. Separating is definitely one of those times. You should look at doing a new will (or getting one for the first time). You should also revoke any powers of attorneys you might have in place appointing your ex as your attorney. You should also look at who you have nominated to receive your super or any life insurance if you die.
- SEE A FINANCIAL PLANNER. They can provide you with all types of assistance – there might be government entitlements you didn’t know about, or they might advise you to try and keep one asset over another. You should also notify Centrelink and the Child Support Agency of your change in circumstances.
- COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR EX. This might sound strange, especially if talking means a fight every time, but there are ways to communicate other than face-to-face. Phone, text, emails…. These can come in handy, and you’d be surprised that you can agree on things. If you can both agree to keep paying your debts and putting your kids first in any separation, that is a good start.
- KEEP PAYING ANY DEBTS. Your lender might be a little lenient if you’re late in paying your mortgage because of a relationship breakdown, but the last thing you want is for them to step in and sell your house because you skipped a few payments. Talk to your ex about how important it is that you both continue to pay your debts.
- PUT YOUR KIDS FIRST. When you put the best interests of your children first, you will find that most of the time you are making the right decision. If you communicate with your ex, you might find that you agree on where they are going to live and be able to maintain a meaningful relationship with both parents.
After reading this you find that you need help with any of these steps – contact Eleven Legal today
